GSI Articles:
Falling into Love
or into a Trap?
The slippery slide into an adulterous affair
© Sid Galloway BS, M.Div.
Just an old sheepdog of the Good Shepherd
Genesis 1:1
Communicating conclusions from 100's of PhD scholars
Supporting the authority of His Word
& the consistency of His character
Human Rights? Slavery? - Animal Rights? Cruelty?
What about God's right to command compassion for all of His creatures?
January 11, 2002
*Adapted and expanded from an original list by my old friend,
Dr. Wayne Mack - see his many resources on the GSI links.
1. Circumstances: Your job, church, etc., includes opportunities to know new people.
2. Attraction: Emotional and/or physical interest begins to develop with a particular person.
3. Thinking: You find yourself dwelling on that person’s best qualities.
4. Enjoying: You increasingly enjoy those unplanned times when that person is around.
5. Comparing: You spend time contrasting your spouse with this new person.
6. Bitter Self-Pity: You dwell on how unhappy and unsatisfied you feel at home.
7. Planning: You begin to plan opportunities to be around the new person.
8. Talking: You deliberately start conversations with the new person.
9. Heart: Conversations focus around more personal, intimate aspects of each others lives.
10. Privacy: The two of you occasionally hang around alone, after everyone else has left.
11. Feelings: Your "good" feelings about this person become stronger and stronger.
12. Fantasy: You start to wonder if you’ve fallen in love with this new person.
13. Clouded: You minimize any negative things you notice about this new person.
14. Blinded: It seems like this new person treats you better than your spouse.
15. Orchestrate: You set up more ways you can "legitimately" be with the new person.
16. Touching: The two of you increasingly share forms of physical affection (hugs, pats, etc.).
17. Embracing: Physical expressions escalate to more passionate embracing.
18. Denial: You deny your guilty feelings and rationalize the behavior, since its not intercourse.
19. Driven: Your conscience nags at you, but you choose to follow your new desires anyway.
20. Intercourse: Physical involvement moves from kissing to petting to intercourse.
21. Rendezvous: You set up ways to secretly rendezvous and they become more & more frequent.
22. Double-Life: You end up living a hidden life, while other folks start getting suspicious.
23. Confronted: People ask you questions or even confront you, but you react in defense.
24. Truth: Ultimately, God exposes you under His revealing light.
25. Choices: Now you must make one of three choices:
a. Love God & others more than self, stop, & seek help to honor the Lord.
b. Ride the fence, stay married, yet continue the adultery.
c. Turn your back to Jesus, and make plans for separation or divorce.
Jesus said:
"But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out and cast it from you; for it is more profitable for you that one of your members perish, than for your whole body to be cast into hell."
(Matthew 5:28-29)Malachi 2:14-16
Yet you say, "For what reason?" Because the Lord has been witness Between you and the wife of your youth, With whom you have dealt treacherously; Yet she is your companion And your wife by covenant. But did He not make them one, Having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring. Therefore take heed to your spirit, And let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth. "For the Lord God of Israel says That He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence," Says the Lord of hosts. "Therefore take heed to your spirit, That you do not deal treacherously."